🔗 We're All Hypocrites

We're all hypocrites. All of us. We demand of others what we do not demand of ourselves. When someone double parks, we hate them, but when we do it it's fine. When someone cheats on their income tax, we despise them, but when we do it it's okay. When a soccer player shouts profanities at the crowd, we're mortified that a "role model" would use such language, but when we do it it's not a big deal, despite the fact that we're all role models to someone.

When we hear that some cultures eat dogs, we're petrified, but when we raise chickens in extremely crowded and dirty torture cages, cut off their heads, slather them with bread crumbs and deep fry them, it's only natural. When we learn about some religion practiced by a remote society where it's a custom to self-mutilate, we're absolutely horrified, but when we cut a part of an eight days old baby's penis it's beautiful.

When a marriage breaks off because of infidelity, we scorn the cheater, but when we do it it's because our spouses left us no other choice. When a famous person is embroiled in a sex scandal with multiple women, we tsk tsk, but silently wish we had the same experiences.

When some country attacks another and kills multitudes of innocent people, we're outraged, but when our country does it we turn a blind eye. When frightened children are torn away from their parents' arms in the midst of some conflict, we spit on the names of the countries that did it, but when our country does it we order a pizza and put on another ten episodes of Friends in a row on TV. When someone expresses disdain towards people of a certain race, we call them the next Hitler, but when we move to a different neighborhood because the number of people of a different skin color in our neighborhood had increased, it's not racism. When we see people of our ethnicity get killed, we take to the streets shouting that "genocide is never justified", but when people call for and act towards the genocide of a group we don't like, we celebrate it.

When some corrupt politician from the opposite spectrum to ours abuses their office to advance their own personal interests on the backs of the people, it's a travesty, but when a politician from our own spectrum does the same thing, we say they deserve it and good for them.

When the worst human being currently alive on Earth, Elon Musk, sees government grants given to anybody that isn't him, he calls for the cancellation of all government grants and subsidies, but he doesn't dare mention that he is already the recipient of billions of dollars in taxpayer money. When the website formerly known as "Twitter" censored certain people or topics, he was so outraged he bought the entire website (with other people's money, of course) and immediately started censoring people and topics himself.

When Elon said Donald Trump was too old to be president again and should "sail off into the sunset", Trump immediately retorted with a scathing, hilarious and true tweet of his own. But when Elon realized his continuous acts of fraud may land him in prison, suddenly Trump was America's only hope. And when Elon gave Trump hundreds of millions of dollars in inherently corrupt campaign donations, the two suddenly became good buddies.

When our favorite "genius" with self-diagnosed Asperger's posted antisemitic memes on his 44 billion dollar blog before he become the first lady of the United States, the right-leaning Anti-Defamation League was greatly disturbed, leading Musk to declare them that week's enemies of humanity. But when Elon decided to Sieg Heil in front of the entire fucking world after he became the first Tsar in American history, the ADL wasn't as disturbed that time.

We're all hypocrites. But Elon most of all.